Gossip Girl – "Roman Holiday"

Time is messed in Gossip Girl world. Thanks giving was a week late, but Christmas came a week early. And still they’re not going to a new episode for another two weeks.

Vanessa, who is still totally in love with Dan (who isn’t?), submitted a story of his to The New Yorker and it was chosen to be published in the “20 Under 20” feature or issue. The story’s title it “10/8/05,” which confuses Serena until she later finds about it’s about the very first time Dan ever spoke with her after being “accidentally” invited to a birthday party. To contend with Vanessa’s present to Dan, Serena buys a really expensive watch for her man so he can be on time to all those meetings with editors he’s sure to have. Being a poor, and totally ungrateful that his girlfriend probably has an AmEx Centurion, Dan refuses the gift for its extravagance. He instead makes up a rule that they each have 24 hours to come up with gifts for each other that are under $50. Vanessa offers to help S, but S wants to prove she can do it so she refuses the help, but then runs to Blair’s. When asking Blair for help, Serena inquires, “What you can even by for under $50 these days?” Screw you, rich girl.
Serena breaks down and gets Vanessa’s help on Dan’s Christmas present — which is “snow.” And no, not the kind of the “snow” that Nate’s dad is into. Dan loves his present and loves even more that he and S immediately proceed to doing it. About damn time!

Blair’s dad comes “home” to New York for Christmas Eve to see his daughter, but brings his lover Roman, which pisses daddy’s little girl off. B plays it sweet in front of her father but later trips Roman when the three go ice skating in Central Park. Mr. Waldorf is none the wiser because Roman is a terrible ice skater, and Roman doesn’t spill the beans about it because he doesn’t want to cause a fight. Blair asks her father to come home for good but he tells her that he’s purchased a vineyard in France with Roman. Let the scheming and conniving begin.
In other Blair drama, she learns that Chuck in in Monaco for the holidays and calls and texts him in an effort to not tell anyone about their brief affair. The episode ends with Blair receiving a text from Chuck asking, “Who would I tell?” accompanied by a picture of Chuck and Nate on the beach in Monaco. Uh oh.

Blair’s been put on the naughty list for calling up Roman’s ex-boyfriend and trying to pass it off as if Roman had invited him to the Waldorf Christmas Eve party. Mama Waldorf tells Papa Dubs that Blair is a schemer but she just needs her dad, who later invites her to spend the entire summer at his vineyard because he and Roman decorated a bedroom specifically for her, and even got her a cat. Mrs. Waldorf may end up on the same list as she’s spent the night with the stranger from Central Park after Roman invited him to the Waldorf’s for the party. She wasn’t keen on the idea until Roman, who used to be her friend before he was her husband’s lover, told her that stranger Jack owned a hedge fund and other things rich guys own.

More drama between parents Rufus, Allison, and Lily. Lily is dating Bart Bass, Chuck’s dad, now that Allison is back in Rufus’s life. Lily is wary of Bart’s commitment, which is probably just her cover for still being in love with Rufus. Rufus calls Lily to try to tell her he’s in love with her but only ends up saying, “Merry Christmas.” Lily is heartbroken by it because she wanted him to say he loved her, so she tells him that she and Bart are flying to some exotic location and that on a scale of 1 to Awesome, it should be a Christmas for the record books. At home Rufus sees a note from Allison’s lover Alex, which he confronts her about. In turn, Allison confronts Rufus about Lily. The pair decide it’s not going to work out so Allison’s going to go back to Hudson (where she lives with le lover) after Christmas.

The cliffhanger occurs when Bart Bass is over at the Van Der Woodsen hotel room on Christmas morning. Bart tells Serena and Eric that he’s got strong feelings for their mother just as Lily’s cell phone rings. She’s told by Bart to not answer her phone because this is something she’s not going to want to miss. Rufus, meanwhile, is standing outside without a jacket and is directed to Lily’s voicemail and says, “I miss you and I have been missing you for a while” just as Bart gets down on one knee and presents a ring to Lily. When Bart asks Lily to marry her, the camera becomes her eyes and she glances to her phone which read “1 new msg.” Omigod!

The best part of the episode is when Blair gives her nanny/maid a cell phone as a Christmas present and says, “So we can text!” Um, what? Aren’t you not supposed to fraternize with the help?

Next episode: January 2nd! I’m aghast. Something to do with a cheating (school-style) scandal.