Wednesday Rundown

Another Wednesday, another self-indulgent blog about America’s Next Top Model. Love it or hate it, you’re getting it every Wednesday night. Just be thankful I’ve given up trying to write about Gossip Girl because I’ve decided I can’t accurately convey my love for it through mere words. [Ed. note: New York Magazine's website has done it for me right here.]

Tyson Beckford made a model guest appearance on Top Model and I have to agree with my girl Heather, “Eye candy, yum!” The mini-challenge he presented was a bit lame but it had sexy funny results. Ebony with the hot pot got a little, uh, racy perhaps? Hot, moist, and really what you want? Little girls watch this and that’s slightly inapprop. Apparently I should live in a nunnery. I do have to say that Heather was pretty damn good at selling whatever it was she was selling.

My favorite thing about Top Model is Tyra’s urge to support charities and foundations and to basically bring about world peace. The actual challenge of creating a public service announcement for the Keep A Child Alive campaign was a wonderful idea and I absolutely support challenges that promote great causes. Though the girls had only thirty minutes to pull a PSA together, they all did an amazing job. Team Bianca, Lisa and Chantal blew me away and I definitely thought they should have won over Heather, Ambreal and Jenna, even though they messed up the name of the charity — but seriously, what do you expect from a 30 minute brainstorm when ad execs would have had months to come up with something; props to all the girls. I’m so glad Heather won the challenge, though. God loves this girl, foreal. She looked absolutely gorgeous.

The stereotype of models was totally shattered when the girls gathered around and ate pizza and chicken fingers. They’re trying to be models! I would never promote an eating disorder, but really, I doubt these girls would be eating this kind of food. I have a sneaking suspicion that they were told to eat in front of the camera by producers, if not Tyra herself. Must keep up appearances. The photo shoot was contrived but was better than last week’s lame concept.

Saleisha looked good and, even though I hate to admit it, I liked her hair. Jenna cleans up well on the runway and dang if she didn’t look hot in all her cardboard glory, vaguely looking like Serena from Gossip Girl. Ambreal didn’t show up for the shoot, but I loved the “dress” she wore. Lisa’s shoot was crap and I hate that her skirt was clear, it didn’t work. I’m glad that Bianca practiced; it absolutely showed in her picture and shoot, girl’s got some eyes.
Sara, while Cruella DeVille-esque, pulled it off in a high-fashion way and rocked her photo. I agree with Nigel (ps, no faux-fro ever again, okay Nigey?), that she’s definitely lost weight, which is probably why the producers made sure to edit in footage of the girls eating. Mystery solved; go me. Ebony looked absolutely sour in her picture. Chantal, though I don’t much like her, looked hot and almost like Darryl Hannah, who is still smoking hot (Kill Bill, anyone?) Heather, again, so pretty. She looked amazing.

It was no surprise that Ambreal and Ebony were in the bottom two. Also not a surprise that Tyra axed the former, nor did surprise come from Ebony’s, “I don’t wanna be here. I’m just not happy.” What made my jaw drop was when Tyra so accurately said, “I think it’s people telling you that you’re not perfect and the most unattractive thing in the world to me is a quitter. So you can go.” Wow. Thank you, Tyra. Ebony should have definitely spoken up before Tyra announced that Ambreal was cut. What a mindfuck for poor Ambreal. She’ll be out next week, no doubt.

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